Infinite Cycle
by sorakairi forever
Summary: Joy happiess are delusions. Where Agony and pain engulf a soul.Darkness and Light are two sides of a coin.Love is myth an Exotic and dangerous drug.To find his heart no X is marking where it hides.
1. Prolouge: The Cycle Begins Again

**(A/N)** Hello fellow jalex shippers! Everybody ready for the trip to hell we going to be taking together? LOL. Okay enough with the lame jokes, so what is this? Good question! I honestly have no idea. When I started writing this it was an idea that had been eating my brain and well this is what came to be. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Yes I totally own Wizards of Waverly Place, you know all those adorable totally unsibling moments between Justin and Alex? well where do you think they come from?

**Dedication:** I always dedicate my stories and this ones no exception. First and foremost I want to dedicate this fic to all those who read and reviewed my first Jalex fic _Φιλαδελφία/Philadelphía. _It was my first venture into WOWP and I was overwhelmed with the kind and not to mention mind-blowing response I received well this is for you. Secondly I want to dedicate this to the one person that I can always count on, the one who's always been there for me, the one person I trust more than anyone in this world. Thank You Amy AKA Lifes . Lover (no spaces just ff is really gay with that) You have no idea how much you mean to me, thank you for being my best friend.

**J_A**

**J**oy happiess are delusions

Where **A**gony and pain engulf a soul

Darkness and **L**ight are two sides of a coin

Love is myth an **E**xotic and dangerous drug

To find his heart no **X **is marking where it hides

* * *

"Please! Don't make me do this! Please just leave us alone!"

_Eight eyes awaiting an outcome_

"Shh Alex its okay."

_A boy's comfort_

"No its not! No I can't lose you!"

_A girl's fear_

"You could never lose me, I'll always be with you, trust me"

_Two hands intertwined_

"Promise me everything will be okay promise me!"

_Determination on her face_

"I promise Alex but you have to do as I say okay?"

_Final resolve in his eyes_

"Okay, how do we get out of here?"

_A glimmer of hope in her heart_

"We can't. Only you can."

_Shame for the crime he has to commit_

"Bu-

"No Alex listen to me! This is the only way. I won't die by anyone else's hands. You have to pull the trigger Alex don't let them make you! Please do this for me! Do it for us!"

_The crime of breaking her heart_

"How can you say that? How could you ask me to do this! You promised everything would be okay! You promised you wouldn't leave me I can't do it! I can't!"

_Desperation flooding from her eyes_

"We'll be okay, you'll bring me back"

_Hopeless dream perhaps delusion_

"How can you be so sure?"

_Mind filled with doubt_

"It's you and I how can we not?"

_Hand on her cheek a pleading gesture_

"I love you"

_Her face nuzzled in his neck. A gun pointed at his heart._

"I love you too. Alex there's no more time you have to do it now! Close your eyes give me a kiss and do it! I'll come back to you. I promise!"

_An oath is made_

_Lips crashed_

_A thunderous bang_

_Maniacal laughter_

_Last words to escape_

_From a broken girl_

_Barely a whisper_

"I know you will…"

_The oath accepted_

* * *

**(A/N 2) **Confused? So am I. I don't know where I'm going with this. I want to continue but it basically just wrote itself so I'm hoping that will keep going. I'd love to hear what you all thought. All ideas/criticism/even flames are more than welcome.

I'd especially like to hear what you thought about the layout/format of the story

* * *

~Ra'dee


	2. To Forget is to Remember

(A/N) Hellooo! First and foremost welcome back to the amazingness that is _Infinite Cycle_. I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter. Secondly I want to thank all the awesome people who took their time to read and review my work. Can we get a stand ovation for them or what?*insert standing ovation here*

Okay so here is chapter 2 I hope you all like it, again this just hit me so I wrote it so updates will not always be this quick, like I said before Im just going with the slow and testing how far itl take me.

Enjoy.

Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to **DaColombianSmurf**, **Shadow-The Black Queen**, **Wd0**, and **Lifes . Lover** (again no spaces) for taking the time to review my lame work. Thank you

PS: I know there are mistakes in here I didnt get a chance to get it Beta'd if the mistakes are too much and too unbearable please let me know.

* * *

_'__**KSsHsk**_

_"Please! Don't make me do this! Please just leave us alone!"_

Complete Darkness  
Where am I?

_"'__**KSsHsk-**__ me everything will be okay '__**KSsHsk**__!"_

Lost in Abyss  
How did I get here?

"_'__**KSsHsk-**_could you ask me to do this! You _'__**KSsHsk-**_everything would be okay! You _'__**KSsHsk-**_you wouldn't _'__**KSsHsk-**_I can't do it! I can't!"

Sounds of whispers  
Am I sleeping?

_"I '__**KSsHsk**__. Alex there's '__**KSsHsk- **__time you have to '__**KSsHsk **__now! I'll '__**KSsHsk**__. I promise!"_

Revival  
A promise?

Her Eyes flung open as she spiraled into consciousness. The glare of light making it difficult to focus on her surrounding, never mind the bombarding of questions her ears were assaulted with. Eyes twitching. Mind throbbing. All she wanted was to go back to sleep, that darkness, it felt so _comforting_ so _intimate_ like being engulfed in a warm embrace. Was it merely a dream? The more she tried to block the incessant jabber around her, the louder it grew, the pulsating ache in her cranium escalating with it.

"Shut up!"

It was meant to command silence to the crowd around her, but in her state it barely came out a whisper. Thankfully it worked. Silence never felt so good. Inescapably her focusing eyes found familiar faces wearing masks of fatigue and concern. Father, Mother, little Brother..._brother_, it was her family, the only family she had, the only family she _knew. _Nevertheless, the picture in front of her was incomplete, a piece of the puzzle was amiss, only she didn't know how, or rather _who._

"What happened?"

The question escaped her lips without her consent.

"You were in an accident hunny."

Blatant lie, she was a master in the arts of trickery, no one could best her. So catching her father's lie was almost instinct. What she didn't understand is why he looked so guilt-ridden.

"Was I- Was I with someone?"

"N-No"

He was obviously hiding some-

"_Everything will be okay"_

That voice! She knew that voice! A name, she needed a name!

"Stop lying to me!"

She had to know what was going on, that couldn't have been a dream it couldn't!

"Hunny why would I lie to you?"

Why wouldn't they tell her? She has to kno-

"_It's you and I how can we not"_

Her heart pounding as quickly as her thoughts raced to find the trace of that voice.

"Alex are you alright?"

She didn't want to scare her little brother

_Brother… Brother… Brother_. Why so intrigued with the word?

"_I promise!"_

"Where's Jus-Ju-J-Ah!"

A blast of agonizing torturous pain immersed her mind; never had she felt something so _horrendous_ so utterly _excruciating_ consuming her psyche.

The tiny room became frantic people rushing in and out, left and right, but all was lost on the fragile girl as she tried every and anything to stop the agony.

It wasn't until a shot of propofol was administered did she get any kind of relief. As the drug flood her veins only one thought crossed her mind as she faded back into the clasp of darkness.

"_I know you will"_

_J_A  
_

The moment Alex had stabilized her parents bombarded the Doctor with questions. He had already warned them that she may not remember the events leading to her current states and that it was best to let her remember everything on her own. However, the doctor had not told them they would have to witness their baby girl in such anguish! And they wanted answers! They wanted to know why their little girl was suffering!

"This is much worse than I thought. The trauma she has endured is so immense that her mind is trying to completely block out the events. Every time she tries to remember, her mind is going to shield against it, thus causing her to suffer from severe headaches, as we just witnessed"

Jerry and Theresa were speechless; they couldn't fathom the trials their daughter had been through.

"How do we help her?"

"You don't, or rather you can't"

A father never wants to hear that there is _nothing_ he can do to help or _protect_ his little angel, Jerry was about to launch out and attack the doctor had his wife not stopped him from doing so.

"Please explain what you mean doctor"

Theresa decided to take the logical side.

"Well it's actually quite simple; when she wakes up she won't remember any of what happened, except what you tell her. My advice still stands try not to bring up any questions or comments that may trigger memories of the event. In time she may be able to remember what transpired, or she may forget it completely, either way there is nothing you and I can do to help her at this point. A bit of personal advice, it would be best if she were to forget, this whole ordeal has already taken such a toll on her, recalling those memories may just further damage her already frail state."

It was never an easy job trying to get parents to rationalize lying to their child. And seeing their pain painted on their faces didn't make it any easier.

One thing still disturbed him to no end she had little to physical injuries not enough to cause such distress of trauma, who or what had she been trying to remember that caused this to happen. Even as a professional he couldn't help but ask this next question.

"If you don't mind me asking, what exactly happened to her?"

"You wouldn't understand even if we told you"

"Try me"

Before Theresa or Jerry could even open their mouths to form a response a nurse barged into the office.

"Doctor! You're needed in the emergency room. Patient is in critical condition with a gun wound to the heart.

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(A/N2) YAY! my first ever **cliffhanger**! LOL I hope you aren't too mad at me... I know this chapter wasn't any good and it didn't really explain anything it needed to be written so I hope i didn't kill anyone...

Reviews, Const. Criticism. and Flames are all not only accepted but warmly welcomed and greatly appreciated, I wanna get better and I can't do that if I don't know what I'm doing wrong so please help me to improve my writing for my sake as well as yours, I'm sure you all don't wanna keep reading poorly written material lol.


	3. Relish the Momenrs

(A/N) Hey guys so another inspiration hit and well here is the next chapter. i want to thank all those who read and reviewed.

Dedication: i want to dedicate this chapter to **DaColombianSmurf** for being the first and so far only person to review the previous chapter. tahnk you so much for your support it really means the world to me.

* * *

Alex's recovery had been trying for all members of the Russo family. After regaining consciousness Jerry and Theresa told Alex that's she'd been in an accident. Alex didn't believe them anymore this time around, but having no memory of why she was in the hospital she decided to wing it. If it meant she wasn't in trouble then what was the harm?

Months had passed since that day; Alex suffered only one attack in that time. It happened when she had been released from the hospital, when she went home she instantly knew something was off. She could feel a faint presence of something, _someone_. Someone so familiar yet so distant. Unfortunately before Alex could ponder on the absence of that almost nostalgic presence, her mind put up its impenetrable shields.

Jerry and Theresa were very watchful and observant of Alex. They made sure to keep tabs on every breath she took. Every time she stepped out of the house their lungs refused to pump oxygen until she returned. Calling it paranoia wouldn't do it justice. Having Max readily agree to watch his sisters every step made it that much easier. They were lucky at how protective Max had become of their only girl. Especially since they knew how much he loathed them. They couldn't blame him, after what they had done they pretty much hated themselves.

The door to their apartment opened and in walked the epitome of their worried. They almost felt the need to gasp for the air their lungs had deprived them of.

Alex greeted her parents and quickly retreated to the comfort of her room. For the past few months things at home had been so tense, and she just couldn't understand why. The atmosphere at home was so thick she could barely breathe. No one ever smiled, Max had grown decades and it just didn't make sense. She tried to ignore it, tried to be nonchalant. But even the master of moving on couldn't let this go.

Trying once more to deviate off the topic of her parents she opened her laptop and signed into her facebook. She wanted to check it this morning like she always did, but had gotten a late start and hadn't had the chance to do so. Seeing she had a friend request both annoyed and excited her.

Clicking on the link, what surprised her is that she didn't see a picture, instead she saw… mathematical equation?

_What a weirdo who does that?_

I don't think pictures really capture my essence

_What? Where did that come from?_

Alex was beyond the point of confusion. What baffled her more was why she hadn't rejected the request yet. She was intrigued to say the least. Something about this person was somehow enticing.

_What am I thinking? I should just click deny_

And yet she accepted the request. She couldn't bring herself to rationalize her decision. She left it at that though. No matter how curious she was, she wasn't going to message this person first.

The rest of the day just went by, like it always did. She went through the days mundane activities. Trying to avoid her family as much as she could. When night fell is when she panicked, like she had been ever since her release from the hospital. She didn't have nightmares, no. The dream she had was very pleasant, it felt like home, the home she used to know. It felt peaceful. She just hated waking up from it in the morning. It tore at her core. This night was no different.

"Alex, calm down, you're safe here."

_Two souls reunited_

"I know I just don't want to leave."

_Surrounded by the absence of light_

"As long as we're together we will find a way"

_Their hearts glimmering _

"Can't you please tell me your name?"

_Glimmering with yearning_

"I'm sorry"

_Pain_

"It's just not fair! I know you, I know I do!"

_Pain of being so helpless_

"Shh, Alex soon, we'll be together soon."

_Pain of never knowing when_

"Please don't let me leave; I hate it out there I want to be with you!

_Pain of having to let go_

"I'll be seeing you"

_Pain of having made an oath_

"No! I don't want to go!"

_An oath almost impossible to keep_

_An oath beyond time and space_

_An oath to overcome all limits_

_An oath to break the cycle_

"Never forget our hearts are connected"

Alex awoke with a jolt. Nothing but the ache in her heart gave her reason to believe she was gone. Gone from reality, _her_ reality. This world meant nothing to her; she wanted to go back to the dream world. That world that made her feel content. Wiping the tears from her face, she looked at the clock to see it reading five am.

_UGH I still have an hour before I have to get ready for school_

Having nothing to do, and knowing sleep was beyond her Alex grabbed her laptop. Opening it up she sees a notification of a message from Facebook so she decides to read it. Surprised to see that it's from the Mathematical Equation guy she clicked the link.

What she saw shocked her to know end.

* * *

(A/N 2) Sorry for the second cliffhanger! I didn't mean it I promise! I told you this story has a mind of its own LOL. Sorry I didnt explain much either, You didn't really think I'd give it away that fast did you?

Reviews, Const. Criticism. and Flames are all not only accepted but warmly welcomed and greatly appreciated, I wanna get better and I can't do that if I don't know what I'm doing wrong so please help me to improve my writing for my sake as well as yours, I'm sure you all don't wanna keep reading poorly written material lol.


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